Mother’s Day Special

Mother’s Day Special: Eijaz Khan talks about why Mother’s Day is unfair on motherless kids and his sentiments will make you introspect

I never had a mother. My parents separated when I was three years old.  So, I have a very faint memory of my mother. Anything I know of my mother is only from films, only from experiences I have seen friends having or hired experiences like my acting. I am supposed to act in a certain way. Now, I will tell you what I always felt like a child. Why don’t you all have an Eyesight Day like a Mother’s Day in the world? Probably because of people who don’t have eyesight, it is like rubbing it on their face. We have eyesight you don’t have… to hell with you…we are celebrating eyesight…too bad.

So I always felt why this day (Mother’s Day) was ever celebrated …why the whole world has to rub in the fact that I don’t have a mother or I have never experienced a mother’s love. Why does it have to be rubbed in my face? Firstly, when you­­­­ don’t have a mother…I will tell you what happens to a child. The child feels isolated, the child feels abandoned, unloved. He or she always has issues with intimacy, issues with inter-personal relationship, so he or she is an introvert with issues. And with Mother’s Day, you rub the fact that the child does not don’t have a mother. Aise bacchon ko you rub the fact that you don’t have a mother.

How many people on Mother’s Day say that their heart goes out to motherless kids and they would like them to experience what they experienced? That they would like to bring to them that experience and celebration of love?  It is really unfair.

When I grew up, I felt I needed to be politically correct. I realised that I don’t have this but people have it. This  is an amazing feel, probably it is an amazing feeling, I don’t know that feeling. It is an amazing feeling, it needs to be celebrated. I don’t know what it is but it needs to be celebrated…A mother’s sacrifice, a mother’s unconditional love that comes…What I feel is that every other love on this planet comes with terms and conditions but a mother’s love does not…even if a gentleman is a murderer/rapist/whatever he is, if he has a mother, a mother’s heart will go out to him. But I  don’t know that, I haven’t experienced that but I am supposed to know it.  And as I grew up, I was supposed to know this. And I thought that let me the person who has never experienced it, have a big heart and admire people who celebrate the feeling.

Now, that I have crossed my 40’s I don’t give a damn about being politically correct. I really feel, I want everyone to wake up. You guys, I love the fact you are  celebrating your moms, I love the fact that atleast one day is dedicated in remembrance of this woman who sacrificed so much that you will not understand in ten lifetimes. How many of you actually go out of way to make that person comfortable? How many of you would want to bring that experience of having a mother to an orphan. This is my perspective, maybe I am playing a party-pooper.

Last year, when I underwent therapy I got to know that all my issues go back to my childhood go back to me not having a stable child AKA not having a mother.  I have this void and all I am trying to do is to find people men and women to fill that void. So, I just feel that everyone who us giving beautiful quotes, waxing eloquent about mothers please spare a thought for motherless kids. Please do something for them and not just put Facebook post. That’s what I feel.

I remember very little about my mother. I am trying to be a mom to 28 kids in my life and I am very proud of that…

Throughout my life, I did not come to know if someone came close to my mom. But I know what I will feel tomorrow. In 1991 when she died, I was not even told about her death, I could not attend her janaza. I am supposed to love and miss her. How would I know what I am supposed to love and miss? This is what happens to motherless kids. They are so confused about what they are missing. They try to find love in any and every way. It might be perverted, wrong, unlawful or anything they try to fill the void, because they don’t know what it is…what to fill it with…so fill it with any love possible. I have done that for a long time. All you have to do is cook for me and I am yours. Tell me you cooked this for me and I am yours.

I am 40 and I still carve for it (mother’s love). Just imagine what happens to kids. So, those who wax eloquent do something. I have snatches of memories of her waiting near the window, I remember her thrashing me once when I fell off the riding horse. That’s all I recollect about my mother. This is not to extract sympathy or empathy. I am beyond it. Yes, there is a void and I have accepted that it can’t be filled by anyone. It is wrong for me to expect this from my would-be spouse. The absence of a mother in my childhood is the core reason why my relationships have failed but for kids who are struggling with this void/loss I don’t want to rub it in their face…I know what I will do tomorrow, I don’t know about the world

Article source:yahoo.com